you & ii .

2011-12-26T00:42:00.002+08:00

You can't change what's done, you can't go back in time, you can't try to change the hurt feelings or mend the broken hearts. All you can do is learn from your mistakes, and hope you will never regret anything as much as you do now.

2011-11-12T16:20:00.002+08:00

Why do we miss a person?

It is either because we realize that we never treasured the moments when they were always there and it left us wishing we could turn back time again or we were too happy with them, we enjoyed every single moment that we became so used to the idea of having them around.

For me, most of the time it was happy being around you, maybe you think likewise, i don't know. But after the day, i realise, i meant nothing to you. Not even worth you spending a few mins to text & say happy birthday.

Only a year and things changed so much, this shows how vulnerable our friendship is. & i'm after all this while, your hot & cold attitude really make me unsure where i stand with you. I wish you would let me know where i am in your life.

2011-10-09T22:01:00.002+08:00

seriously, so only you can download your shows as and when you like just because you stay up late? kp kia, stop thinking that the whole world is yours and only yours. fuck yourself.

2011-10-08T00:09:00.002+08:00

但是我不愿放弃这里面一点点可能

last yr nov, bali. this yr aug, bangkok. i wna go taiwan soon! i wna go overseas & enjoy, & take a break from this stressful & boring life.

2011-10-03T23:37:00.002+08:00

Hoping with a fragile hope.

Last week was awesome, with the weekdays with you & the weekends of lifesaving. But this week started like shit, & i can't help to be bothered by it.

If only, there could be someone that wouldn't mind listening to me pouring my sorrows, and understands how i'm feeling right now. It sucks to be getting so emo at this hour. I hate how emotional i'm.

2011-09-10T01:16:00.002+08:00

friends forever?

Chance upon a photo on the web, and instantly i felt damm pissed. Seriously, tell me what's the reason for MIA-ing? I can't find any reason for your actions.

1. Army? I have tons of friends in army, and i don't see what you can be so busy with that you can't even reply any smses or calls.
2. Gf? Maybe your wkends are filled up trying to spend more time with your gf, but our 4 years plus of friendship is not worth any meet up for after 6 months?

I really don't know what's up in your mind right now, and what you are exactly thinking. Because, the random photo i get to chance upon really make me think through again how much we meant to you? Have you thought of us any bit during this period of time? Or do we meant nothing and never came across your mind?

I don't know why i'm putting in so much effort into this friendship, trying to contact you over and over again, when it seems to me that you can't be bothered at all. I do not expect you to be there as and when i need you like before, but i just need to feel like you're still there, feel that you still care.

So many major happenings happened to me this year, i was in such a bad state, but no reply. You were someone i could turn to previously. What now?

And actually, if i happen to have the chance to see you right now on the street, idk what i would say. I think i would feel like tearing and give you a punch. I never felt that bad losing contact with a friend.

Hopefully someday, miracle happen. You will take some initiative to call us, or you'll reply our call/text someday. I don't know how long more i could hang on to this before i'm giving up.

2011-09-01T00:59:00.003+08:00

It's better to just not feel anything at all.

I realized that i was holding on to something that didn't exist anymore. That the person i missed didn't exist anymore. People change.The things we like and dislike change. And we can wish they wouldn't all day long, but that never works.

2011-08-28T23:27:00.002+08:00

Life.

Being an uni student is not easy. Just over with the first week, and i feel like i'm dying. Motivation level is up there at 100% for now. Hopefully it doesn't die off before the major exam. This is the biggest hurdle i've in life now.

2011-08-15T21:41:00.001+08:00

you're the reason why i became stronger, but still you're my weakness.

2011-08-15T00:23:00.002+08:00

i want you.

Sometimes life can be really fucked up. How all of a sudden someone comes into your life that changes everything. Raises the standards, makes you laugh, and makes you feel like you. There is just something about him that you can't put into words. And even thou you're not with him, you don't want to let him go.

Simple things like seeing your name appearing on my phone and unknowingly doing the same thing at the same time can make me smile.

But being hurt too many times, you are so afraid to get attached again. Because you'll have the fear that every person you fall for is going to break your heart.

2011-02-18T22:47:00.003+08:00

Keep calm and carry on

No matter how serious life gets, you will constantly need the company of people whom you can completely be stupid with.

But it is amazing how at one point of life, we will be extremely close with someone and then later they will become a complete stranger. Conversation dies off eventually, when previously that someone would be the one that you pour out your fears, your desires, your dreams, your past, your happiness to. But right now, You will walk pass by them without a word.

It hits me hard, to be growing and having people leaving and entering my life constantly. I've to adapt to the constant changes to my surroundings which i don't like it seriously. Nothing last forever.

Anyways, had just submitted uni application under SIM bachelor degree for accounting and finance. I guess i've made the right choice, and hopefully it is. Not easy to study something totally different from your diploma, but i think the interest would help a little? I'm kinda looking forward to it, after graduating for almost a year.

Working life seriously ain't fun and it is tiring. Sometimes it spoils your plan with the last minute OTs, and sometimes the management screws up and make work unpleasant but you can't do anything about it. Worst of all, office politics. As much as you try to stay out of it, you'll still be involve some way.

Life can be really simple, but sometimes it is human that that make it complicated.

2011-02-01T23:09:00.003+08:00

Inhale love, exhale hate.

"Leam to let go of the past, and recognise that everyday won't be sunny. And when you find yourself lost in the darkness and despair, remember it is only in the black of the night that you see stars, and those stars will lead you home. So don't be afraid to make mistakes, to stumble and fall, because most of the time, the greatest rewards comes from doing the things that scare you the most. Maybe you'll get everything that you wish for. Maybe you'll get more than you could have imagined. Who knows where life will take you. The road is long and in the end, the journey is the destination"

- One Tree Hill

2011-01-08T00:12:00.003+08:00

Same shit, different day

Sometimes change may not be what we want, but sometimes change is what we need. I cling to the tiniest glimpse of hope though i know i can't make something out of nothing. I give myself false hopes and expectations that never match up to reality.

But I've learn to just be yourself. It is not easy to please everyone with your choice. People may or may not like you, but it important that you stay true to who you are and be happy.

2011-01-04T22:13:00.003+08:00

Nothing good comes by easily

Sometimes someone comes into your life that changes everything. But you've still have to take life as it is. Learn to take the good with the bad, smile with the sad, love what you've got, remember what you had, always remember but never forget. Learn from your mistakes but never regret. People changes, things go wrong, but just have to remember life goes on.

2011-01-02T21:45:00.002+08:00

Forever is just a word

Had a simple an awesome countdown session with my dearest WS peeps. It has been so long since all of us gather to have since now some have already left the team, most in army and busy in uni. The night really bring back a lot of memories.

Countdown with just simple xbox kinetic dancing and exercising, with chips and tv as company. And how we watched the running man that make us laugh like mad. Not to forget how 6 of us squeeze onto the bed to nap for that 2 hours. It remids me of how we use to squeeze in hotel room in batam and tioman.

2011, a brand new start, a brand new year. No need for any new year resolutions, just live life as it is. I've been contended with 2010, hopefully 2011 would be even better.

2010-12-28T23:32:00.004+08:00

That's the season to be jolly

This year's christmas is just too awesome, with the right atmostphere. Never had so much excitement for christmas before. A great christmas this year, in a new environment with new people.

At work, we had draw who to buy for gift exchange and geetha and chosen me! She got me a cup with a little spongebob plushie stuff in it, totally adorable. Exchange was done on the eve of christmas, and i had receive other plenty of spongebob stuffs from other colleagues and a new tumbler for christmas! Love all the present ttm. Best thing of the day, we had half a day off.

Christmas day was spend with the dearest WS peeps with a simple dinner at em's place. Order pizza, and had gift exchange after that. This year's celebration felt a bit odd, probably with a few news faces, and the lessen of old faces. Miss the past, miss the team.

Overrall, i enjoyed myself this holiday season. Looking forward to the arrival of 2011 in a few days time! (:

2010-11-10T01:14:00.003+08:00

Never enough

It's been close to a half a year since i've update the blog. Anw life have really been much of a rountine, mostly taken up by work. Hopefully the plans of studying next year can go accordingly.

Just came back from a refreshing trip from bali! The scenery is totally awesome, and most importantly the company tht i had. See things i never get to see in SG, and experience things i never done in SG. The trip cost up to $900 including the expenses, hotel and flight tickets but it is all worth it.

Next trip, i wish to go thailand/hk/taiwan cause i wna shop till my legs nua-ed, and eat till i can't move my ass! But it will cost a bomb, so right now i shld work hard and save as much money as i could for studies as well as overseas trip!

On a side note, HB had just enlist today. The childhood friend since primary 1, take care in there yo brother. I'll see you soon again in 3 weeks time with your cuckoo looking botak head!

2010-06-15T22:20:00.002+08:00

If you want the rainbow, you gotta put up with the rain

Sometimes it really come to me that being a child would probably be better. Leading a more peaceful life, without having any idea what is happening around them. When you've grown up, there is so many things tht you've to care for. Even when the ugliest things are happening in front of you, you're not tht dumb anymore to not sense the existence of it.

I hate to sense all these happenings around me, because i can do nothing to help but just be stuck with it. I'm living with it because i do not want to create any further trouble for myself, and for others. I don't knw if pretending tht i don't knw anything would be a better choice out, because i believe in the long run the cat would run out of the bag.

Work has start to kick in and it is draining every bits of my energy. Furthermore NUS comps would be this weekend, so many things to do with so little time. I've been missing out on so many things in my life because of work. I hate grown up life, so many things to have to fend for ourselves. I really wished tht i'm able to just enjoy being a little less independent at times.

2010-05-31T19:07:00.003+08:00

Speed towards the unknown

The long wkend last wk was spent fruitfully, tht today i had bad monday blues at work!

It was to the zoo last wk on vesak day! The last time i went to the zoo was like primary 5. Enjoyed myself with ex work mates under the sun looking at those animals, and have our day of fast food breakfast&lunch.

Sat was mahjong at my place with jim, anges & zh. Thn we went over to clarqe quay around evening to meet hb, mel and jx! Jx brought us to this pub iguana, had our own laugh and fun doing stupid things. It is great to have this meet ups even though some of them have left the team. More in the future yeah? :D

Went to expo on sunday with bf. Gotten a new pair of heels! I'm alr so broke since pay is not here yet, but i just can't resist the cheap temptation. Hahaha, so now i'm experiencing sore throat cause of the food at expo. Ate durian puffs and those tibits, rahhhh! Hate the feeling now, it hurts even when swallowing saliva or drinking water.

So far work haven't officially start, but i'm alr very stress! Bcus there is so much to make notes for, it is as if i'm studying for test. The trng is close to 3 wks, and now we're just done with 1wk. And today those long boring domain trng make me doze off a few times at work.

On top of all the work, NUS invitation is coming soon in this month. Thou i've been attending trng, i still feel tht i'm not officially prepared. Oh well, i just hope i'm able to do well and not let the team down since it is only 4 of us to make/break the team! Go ws! <3

2010-05-15T21:46:00.002+08:00

When we go on, we remember.

It’s graduation! 3 years of sch life is just gone like tht. Part of me, missed the feeling because now i’m being thrown out into the big sea in the working to fend for myself alr!

I miss how i used to have long breaks with my friends and just copy paste the slides for presentations, i miss how we get addicted to those stupid fb games and compete with each other, i miss how we pretend to listen in class but we are actually busy talking to each other on msn.

I miss so many so many things of sch life. Because working life now, is so tiring! The office hours, the office politics. Rushing after work for trngs, and meet ups with friends, it really makes me feel that 24hr a day is not enough.

But it’s okay i’ve alr made plans for myself till nxt year, 1 year of work to save up for sch fees and study during nxt yr end with denise! Can’t wait can’t wait! For now i shall just work hard and train hard!

2010-04-22T22:11:00.005+08:00

Meaningless.

Nobody would feel what i feel. So what if i'm able to put it all in words? It won't mean exactly the way i feel right through my heart. Probably i'm just still childish and not able to think about things in another perspective to avoid getting myself into unnecessary problems. Maybe i'm always hanging on to things tht seems important to me, but actually it is just a pea to others. Maybe right from the start, i'm just in all this alone.

2010-04-19T23:27:00.005+08:00

Friends or enemies?

As we aged, things tend to change so much sometimes it's too hard for us to except the fact. But what to do, that is life. Nothing turns out perfectly the way you want it to be always, nothing stays forever. People come and go out of your life. No point crying over spill milk, because what happen had alr happened. Probably my heart is just too fragile to take any setbacks tht have to do with friendships.

Measure of friendship consists not in the number of things friends can discuss, but the number of things they no longer need to mention. I don't know how things would be like with this happening. Probably it is gna be awkward silence when we see each other agn the nxt time, or probably we're gng to turn out to be hi bye friends this very moment. I hate changes! But who like it anw?

Met up with anges, pc&hb today at pc's house for awhile. Sort of like a sent off for pc before he start sailing for 6months. There goes the blockhead bighead friend! And today at work, did admin! Pretty fun, & time pass super fast with the many things to do. But bad things is i've to eat the last time slot everyday, which is like at 1.30!

2010-04-06T21:13:00.005+08:00

Keep it simple stupid.

Rah, more and more ppl are done with their contract and leaving the work place. Boring! Hopefully more new ppl would come in soon, but tht would means i would have to start knowing ppl from the beginning and get familiarise agn!

Anw the weekend was spend fruitfuly. Friday was at Pasir Ris Park with WS friends to celebrate Jin's 21st birthday. We shared and bought her a polaroid camera. It's just a good deal, because nxt time i wa use it i can just borrow from her! HAHA. And Sat&Sun was over at leo's place, played mahjong with the mini tiles and played bf's new love(RC).

Probably gna take a half day off some day nxt wk to go sing K with WS friends. Part of the meeting up is also to see PC for the last time before he start sailing nxt sun for half a year! Gna miss this stupid blockhead friend tht stay so near i can just call and reach anytime!

I sort of craft out my path alr, somewhere there but not there. I can count myself a little lucky cause i'm a girl and i don't need to waste 1 year 10 months serving NS. I shall make full use of this transition period & not waste time any further.

2010-04-01T19:34:00.004+08:00

Run devil run

It has been 3wks of working in a office environment. I think it's bound to have politics everywhere, i'm glad i'm not involved in any. Just here listen there listen, but keep quiet can alr. Today 3 person left, nxt wk another 2. Rah, i just joined and so many ppl's contract is alr up. And nxt monday we're changing seating arrangement, i hope it's not any big changes, bcus i love where i seat now!

This few days i had bad pain bcus of my wisdom tooth. I can hardly chew my food with the left side of my teeth, the whole part feels so swollen. This is my 2nd wisdom tooth alr, i hope the pain will wear off soon.

Nus comp is coming soon and i'm still at this kinda state, i think i would just die. SIAO LIAO!

2010-03-23T18:33:00.001+08:00

Fucked up, totally fucked up. I don't knw what other words i can use to describe how i'm feeling now. Things not only didn't got better, it freaking make me feel worst.

2010-03-21T23:05:00.002+08:00

Cause i don't care.

It's been so long since i last long. Anw, first wk of work at cpf was not bad. Colleagues there are quite friendly. And i've been good and go trngs, and enjoyed myself with a few mahjong sessions! I'm taking wed off to go AH for eye checkup, hopefully it's nothing serious. And hahahha, just a checkup, i've got anges, hb, pc to go with me.

4 more days to puipui coming back! :D

2010-03-03T23:51:00.003+08:00

It's all too late.

Back to WS trng today, after like 2 months? It wasn't as bad tht i thought it would be. Maybe it was cause Mr.K was lenient with us a bit. But i really did put in much effort to complete every sets, and i'm really proud of myself! heeee. The effort of using break times to swim really helps.

So far life is just about working and gng for trng. I'm considering taking a year plus of break before studying agn, if i don't get into ntu/nie this year. Thn i'll start working full time to get experience. Sighhhh, mostly to earn money for fees actually since my parents wouldn't be able to support me.

Meow, Tears are just words that the heart can't express, exactly how i'm feeling now. And what we are all dreading to happen is the drifting to happen, it'll definitely happen someday. But no matter what, let's just try hard to still meet up as often as possible with whatever busy schedules we've okay? I'll not forget you, because we've been thru too much, so much tgt. And you've been there for me so many occasions, being my listening ear to rant, and keeping our dirty little secrets from others, overseas trips, shopping & on & on. Rah, i'm officially missing you right now. ):

2010-02-13T18:59:00.004+08:00

Tears are just the words the heart can't say

School is offically over, no more ppts, no more uts! 3 years are over just like tht, it's really too good and too fast to be true. Somewhat, i know i will miss this graduation feeling. You can't wait to end school when you're still schooling, but now that it's gng to be over how you hope it wouldn't end so fast.

Ytd was a great night, DSES bbq gathering session. It's wasn't just the food that makes the whole event awesome, it was the ppl. This year had really been much of a bonding year, when we get to know each other better, and meet new people in the course. Hopefully everybody would still keep in contact after graduation.

So now, cny is here. I don't really feel the mood this year, no idea why. This festive season, i'm just looking forwards to spending quality time with love ones and friends. And definitely a season to become fatter, since there are so many steamboat sessions. But nvm, i will work my ass off after all these eating! hahahahha.Finally my dad and brother are back!

Now i can have my first steamboat session for this festive season!

2010-01-31T17:40:00.002+08:00

It is happening to soon to be true.

Back at trng after a long break today, feels good! Jeriann's trng is really quite interesting, swimming with eyes close, and those yoga stretches! I think it's because it's some new element added in to the normal routine that creates variation which makes trng interesting. I'm looking forward to the nxt beach trng. And probably after cny, i would be back trng at the pool. Mixed feelings, but oh well, i will try my best.

So yeah, ivp has officially ended. Some people are really just sore losers who doesn't have sportsmanship. But anw, this season has it's good and bad, a lesson to take away. And school would be coming to an end after another wk of class, and then a week of exams, and i'm graduating! Come to think of it, tml i shall go sch an apply the nie thing with denise and all cause i don't knw how. I really hope i can get in, all the best to myself!

2010-01-27T23:55:00.005+08:00

Where has my sunshine gone to?

I just really don't know how to hang on after all this dramas. It doesn't make me feel any better after knowing the fact, and it doesn't feel any better after crying it out. Actually the more i think, the more i type, the more i wna cry. Sometimes i just really want someone to understand how i feel, and to be able to talk to, is it that hard?

I knw there's no happy ending and nothing last forever, but i don't want it to end so fast. The fact that it is like part of life alr, but i really find no motivation to continue. Maybe, maybe it's really time.

2010-01-23T19:44:00.002+08:00

You're my only my only one

Time is everything. I think this can be applicable to almost everything, studies/sports/r'ships. Too many times I have seen a relationship never start because one person is not ready for that commitment, or emotionally they have things they must do for themselves before getting involved. Then, a few years later, both people, who may have had a great relationship together, are now involved with other people simply because the timing wasn’t right for them in the first place. Can you really blame someone from that?

I'm glad i have my loved one with me. Even though we broke up before, that doesn't left a scar. It only makes me treasure even more with what i've because you wouldn't be able to turn back the clock to where you want things to be agn.

2010-01-21T23:34:00.004+08:00

Come on rainbows, last fight tomorrow. We had endured and trained hard for this season. Even though now half the team are down with injuries and some with illness and what not, let's persevere and hang on till the last whistle is blown! Keep our heads up because we've done our best and done ourselves proud. We know what's with all the dirty players and kayu referees that got us here, but at least we had worked as a team and it had really got us this far. Make tomorrow a good end for my last rugby season before i graduate. I love team RAINBOWS!

2010-01-11T15:17:00.003+08:00

Last season before everything ends

First game, SMU today. Not really feeling the rush now yet. But i haven't had the mood to listen in class today, just looking forward to the night. I hope this season would be good after all the dramas, because this would be the last season for me playing with this team. No matter how stress i'm dealing with the screwed up fyp right now, i will clear my mind tonight just for this. This is what we've trained so hard and been through so much for the past few months. We will make miracles happen, and break all curse!

2010-01-06T11:51:00.003+08:00

RP rainbows.

I need my whole bunch of team mates to fight this ivp season with me. I don't want anybody to be left out of this. The gpa thing making so many teams not able to have their players playing is really killing me. Why can't things start new at the start of a new school year? Why suddenly implement this at the start of everybody's ivp and spoilt the mood and spirit of the team? Rainbows always appear after the rain and storm, which bring happiness to bring people. So would rainbow appear after this disaster for our team?

2010-01-04T13:57:00.003+08:00

Because of you, I laugh a little louder, cry a lot less and smile a lot more.

Let's go rainbows. Polite was screwed cause of H1N1 the other time, now let's make this ivp season a better one. A new year, a better start. WE can do it, if we believe.

2010-01-02T22:48:00.005+08:00

Oh, i don't care.

This whole week had been dammmm busy. I had 4 rugby trngs this wk bcus IVP is just 1 wk away. And i'm also rushing to finish up my FYP report, and also to study for my 4uts when school reopen in 2 days time. Counting down from 2009 to 2010 had been good even thou it was staying indoor playing drinking games with my fellow WS friends.

Come to think about it, it's just 6weeks more to graduating. Mixed feelings, sad and happy. And also 6 more weeks, and i wouldn't be in rp touch anymore. I would miss all the fun, laughter, tears, anger whatever on the field with this bunch of people. Esp my dear scandal, with all the gossiping and stealing and eating of food. Let's make this ivp season a good one for us and for me, let's go rainbows!

2009-12-18T12:12:00.003+08:00

Stick by me, and i promise things would be okay.

Work is really killing me, because it's so boring having to work alone in school and staring at a pool with nobody swimming. But so far holiday has been great with WS trng and Touch rug trng. 2 mahjong sessions this wk, and it's great! More to come before the busy jan please.

On a happy note, christmas is just next wk! So is WS team dinnner. :D

2009-12-05T18:47:00.006+08:00

Love vertically, Love horizontally.

Just woke up from a nap. This mrng had friendlies with the aussies, not bad quite fun, and there were a few hot guys to look at. HAHHA! Omg, i just found this pictures at tumblr. Aren't they cute? It's making me feeling so hungry, but bf is still sleeping like a pig. When he wake up, we shall head to jurong point for dinner, and also bakkwa! LOL, cause he is having a sudden craving for it.

So far school has been quite good. Grades for first UT are all out, i think it's decently not bad. 1A, 1B and 2Cs. I'll try harder to make my GPA to a 3 at least. I'm really worrying about my future upon graduating in a few months time. Is it school or into the reality world of working? :/

And tumblr is freaking addictive, i can be tumblr hopping for a few hours and just reblog nice quotes and pictures that i see. You ppl shld try it too!

2009-12-02T10:35:00.003+08:00

Christmas, Christmas time is near.

All this Christmas sugar canes and cupcakes, make me can't wait for Christmas. I wonder how Christmas would be like this year. So far life have been so good. It's been hectic with rugby during school days and weekends. And now my face is badly peeling from the burnt last Saturday at turf. It's been some time since i go WS trng, but neither do i have the time/energy/motivation to go. I think i have to give myself another break from it, before i totally lose it all.

2009-11-24T22:27:00.003+08:00

F you see kay

Why is it after 3 years i still feel that i'm not valued? Why is it after 3 years i still feel damm shit each time i get this kind of treatment? Tell me what is fair, tell me what i should do. What's the point of making sacrifices every time and putting in so much effort, in the end all i get is still all this shits. If given a choice i would of course rather spend more time going out with friends, but i decided to sacrifice time from others and put in my best and train. Sometimes i really don't knw what to do to please you, and crying over it again and again doesn't help. It just really feels fucking knnccb depressing.

2009-11-16T10:29:00.003+08:00

Even thou it hurts, you are still my favourite pain.

The new watch tht is going to be shipped in in a few days time, can't wait! Thanks bf, love it.

2009-11-12T11:35:00.008+08:00

You may only be one person in this world, but you might mean the whole world for someone

It's been quite some time since i update. This few days have been quite busy with studying for UTS, especially having 3 this wk. Plus work every wed mrng is making me damm tired, with fyp after that and then trainings. Anw today i would have to skipped training agn cause i've to study for my biomechanics UT tml. I can't flunk it. Ytd i wanted to study for it, but ended up sleeping so early after coming back from FYP testing.

My 19th birthday 2 days back was a blast, celebrated it with the ruggers. I was being dao-ed for the first half of the day. Even my dear scandal hide away from me when she see me, and deleted my smses! Stupid shit. But anw after ut got the warning note, to get changed and go to koufu to prepare for whatever's coming up. Ended me and claudia was playing amazing race in school. Totally damm unglam, running around with the pretty balloons but sweaty and hair all over the face. After training, went to titanic and had our dinner and cake. Love just how simple the day went by, it's about the company you had anw.

This sat would be gng to bishan to prawn with my dear WS friends. Hopefully it would be fun, because it's my first time prawning. And i miss seeing those ppl cause most of them i haven't seen there for quite some time. Reason being i've been too busy and tired to go trng, or that there was a huge group of ppl busy studying for their O's and A's.

Now in environmental class, we are watching video about how chickens are killed and how other food are produce. It's totally damm gross. And today's module is talking all about foood, how those big organisations make use of their money to make farmers do what they want. It makes me feel like everything in the world can't be eaten if we really think about how it's actually produce.

2009-10-28T23:03:00.002+08:00

Paper hearts because of you.

After the nationals, i haven't been going down for WS trng. And after so long, i finally went down with my girls other than mel. We had our own fun laughing at stupid jokes and gossiping with our irritating voice. I'm sure trng is never normal without the prescence of our voices. Earl, you should feel fortunate we came down for trng on your birthday! HAHA. And i realise this is still where i belong, where i would love to be.

2009-10-15T22:56:00.003+08:00

Officially missing you.

Sometimes you wish you can actually do multiple things at different place at the same time. But life is never so fair, you'll always have to choose and sacrifice some of the many few things that you wish to do. School has kicked in for about 2 weeks and so far so good, environmental learning is not as bad as it seems. I'm still trying to cope with work, studies and 2 different trngs. There is really so many things i want to do, but i think all have to wait until i graduate.

Bb is booking out tml! :DDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

2009-09-27T21:43:00.005+08:00

The pact

Just 1 more week of holidays left, dammm it! The reopen of sch would mark the start of the last semester, a very important sems. I tried very hard last sems, and indeed it shows improvement in my results. I will work harder again this year to reach my goal, juggling sch with work and trng.

Now the last week of holidays would be packed with activites. Mon and tue is lifeguarding, Wed to fri would be Ncap theory 1. Finally after waiting for 1 year, RP is holding it again. And this whole holiday it had been about working, that i neglected trainings, be it in lifesaving or rugby. And for rugby, i will definitely train harder for the upcoming IVP at the end of the year, which would also be the last competition for me in rugby.

Pc's and Bf's birthday was just over this weekend, money spent was worthwhile. Stayed over at bf's on sat and had a small celebration with him&the family. And it was fun playing tarot cards with cherlyn and jasmine, and staying up to the next mrng with bf before he book in for guard duty. Now that i'm so broke, i'm waiting for all the pays to come in soon. It's been quite some time since i buy myself new clothes! ):

2009-09-17T01:32:00.004+08:00

Let's play a love game

This holiday is a blast. I've been not able to attend trngs cause of work. I need the money to pay for ws team packages and my upcoming NCAP course. As much as i want to work, i also would like to train and mingle with my team mates.

Anw Nus splashdown last weekend was fun, thou many got burned by the weather. We were all busy swimming to change for the free gifts, typical singaporeans HAHHAA. And tml is a last minute decision to celebrate the Pc, Leo and Mel birthday. Thou just a small dinner gathering, it's been quite some time we get to meet up and spend time tgt. I'm looking forward to it.

2009-09-07T13:09:00.002+08:00

A little piece of heaven.

About 3 more weeks of holidays to go! And i think i can say i've been spending everyday usefully. Everyday i'm almost out in sch for work/fyp/trng, or if not then it would be out shopping. The number of hours i spent at home minus sleeping, could be count by fingers.

Anw, i think i've to start finding more shifts to work either at sch or at tpy. Sept is not a good month, cause i will be broke with 3 consequtive birthday to celebrate for. But nvm, with the end of sept, means my birthday would be nearing!

There's still so many things that i need to do, but i do not have enough time. The jin's mustafa trip have been push from last holidays till now, and we still can't find a time to go. And our jurong west sports complex trip also can't be confirmed cause of everybody's diff schedule. My organiser is so messy now, with so many cancelling.

2009-08-27T02:15:00.009+08:00

Sometimes you have to forget how you feel, and remember what you deserve.

Today is the first day of holiday, and also the first day of FYP II. Fyp started off from 10am in the mrng, till 4pm in the noon. I was really tired cause i think i stayed up too late trying to watch my hk drama and to play my plants VS zombie game.

The evening was the highlight of the day, the long waited crystal jade xiao long bao buffet. We had fun stuffing ourselves with luncheon meat and xiao long baos! Also playing with the soft squishy dumpling. Slacked at the coffee shop at holland V, with a couple fighting as our entertainment. I don't understand how the guy got so much energy to keep screaming and shouting for over an hr, the girl keep hugging and even kneel down on the floor to beg the guy!

I think now, what we will hate to see is the weighing machine! Tml i shall go for a run, and perhaps make use of the school fees and go to the sch pool and swim. Okay, off to read my book and slp. Goodnight bb.

2009-08-22T23:47:00.005+08:00

I got a feeeeeeling, that tonight is gna be a good night!

Nationals over, and i really enjoyed myself. 1 gold 2 bronze this year, it's actually quite a big achievement for us looking at the number of trainings we had and how "hard" we actually trained. After every season, there's always regrets. Regretting why didn't you train harder so that you could have sustain during the race, regretting why didn't you put in more effort during training and talk lesser? But overrall, it wasn't a good year for us with only 18 in the team and changing of training venue which limiting to us of the usuage of equipment.

Now, half a week more to holidays. I've been officially really studying for my UT3. Haven't been studying so hard in the whole entire 3 year of RP, but this time with the change of system, it's making ppl really stress up! Walking anywhere in sch now, you will see ppl revising through their 6Ps or PPts. (Partly it's also because the sch is being an ass and cut all internet connections till 7pm) Sports Prescription and Sports business left!

During the holidays, it will be packed with more work then training. Because i've been spending so much during school days, i only see my bank decreasing instead of increasing. And just nice TPY pool just finish renovation, so i can go back to the familiar environment to work again! :D Okay, for now i shall get back to doing notes for business.

2009-08-15T00:25:00.004+08:00

If you ever find yourself lost and all alone, get back on your feet and think of me, my love will get you home.

(Photos credits to wensen)

Blogger is being an ass this few days, it keep having problem with the posting page. Anw this weekend is Nationals open water, a part of me is afraid, a part of me is tired. I don't knw why but this whole year i don't have the heart to lifesaving, i don't knw why i don't have that nervousness the day before competition like before. Somebody enlighthen me please.

Anw this few weeks is watching of a lot of movies. Just watched GI JOE on tuesday with Minyi&Denise, today watched UP with Rp lifesaving ppl. There's so much more shows ppl booked me to watch. Final destination, hangover, where got ghost, orphan. Wah, no money alr still got so many expenses.

This week marks the last wk of class for most module, and this also marks the start of holiday. And i'm really great that this break is coming, cause i would be chionging of work to earn the money to spend during sch days. I'm really tired with all the trng routines and sch work.

Minyi and I have been damm crazy over HK drama now, 溏心风暴. And everyday we chiong the show until we are damm affected with the characters action. And addicted to Plants VS Zombies game. HAHAH. Now i'm at Ep 36, and now it's 12.45am. I ought to slp early for nationals tml, RAH!

2009-08-05T10:48:00.005+08:00

Paint my life into a rainbow.

Now the temporary stop for rugby season, it's time to get back into the water and concentrate on that last 2 weeks of trng before Open water nationals start. This whole season left me rushing around like a mad woman, when you've both lifesaving and rugby season clashing, or the season one after another. I hope my sacrifices are made worthwhile, whatever i did, i really do put in my best. I just hope to made the best out of this last year in the rugby team and leave with no regrets.

As for lifesaving, now i only can work harder. Counting back, i've been in the team for 5 years. And swimming since what, primary 1? I see myself so stagnant there, not able to perform. Passion do dies sometimes when you find no motivation, but sometimes friends in the team is the one that help you revive the spirit to stay in the team. I don't knw how long i will be continuing, because nothing is forever.

Next week is FYP presentation alr, i'm still not done with poster design. But anw, july had been a fruitful month with so many ppl's birthday, and so many event happening. I wish for a awesome august too!

2009-07-23T14:14:00.002+08:00

Everyone is a start and deserve the right to twinkle.

This is when class is so boring and we have nothing to do. Match with TP on tuesday was a draw. Today we're playing NYP, lucks for us. End of july would mark end of rugby season and also the end of FYP I for now , but it mark the start of lifesaving season.

2009-07-14T14:39:00.006+08:00

Seize the day, or you will regret the time you lost.

POLITE rugby 1st match started ytd, against ITE. We won with a score of 22-0, and it really feels nice to score and assist people in scoring. Other matches wouldn't be so much easy thn, and i'm really scared. Training almost everyday this week, and submission of FYP report deadline is nearing. Rah, so many things to do with so litttle time! ): And i miss fat, who is still in army now.

2009-07-09T00:17:00.002+08:00

You had my heart, at least for the most part.

In a few hours time, it would be gone for your freedom and so of my chances of seeing you. I really pray that things don't turn ugly. I don't know what you're thinking and what will you do, but i know i would be missing you. Thanks for tonight, and i hope to see you soon again. :/

2009-07-05T23:54:00.002+08:00

Crossroads

I've been traveling for so long, till i stumbled upon 2 roads in front of me, and i had to make a choice. If i was perfect than things would be easy. I walk through the center with no rules to guide me, i realize it's difficult. There is gotta be another way to go, a way that's more feasible. A combination of all the lies to set your path without choosing a side. I make decision on at a time and no, i never say i'm always right.

This week had been super torturous. It was training every day except monday, but still monday is not free because there is work. And today i overslept causing myself to miss beach training. Now it's only left with 3 trainings to nationals beach and having 5 events on that day almost back to back doesn't help at all. And rugby polite is here in abt 2 weeks time, provided it's not postponted because of the H1N1 flu.

Rah, somebody give me the energy to survive this whole cycle again this weeek! :/

2009-06-27T22:24:00.004+08:00

Your anything, my everything.

Nus is over just like tht, it didn't felt like a competition this yr instead it felt like a fun fest. Perhaps because all of us see this happening too fast, not trained not prepared. I think i did my best in my event, thou timing was still quite slow, i managed to squeeze into the top 8 out of 16. Got 3rd for medly relay, i think i slowed the team down. But well all over now, train harder yo!

Waiting for the rest of the photos to be uploaded into facebook. If only my battery was fully charged, i would have been able to blog with pictures alr. Anw now i'm really tired, and there's beach training tml. 4 more training to Nationals beach, scared man but oh well.

I don't knw why things always start off well and got screwed up the last min, and it hurts me each time it happens. After all this while you're still impt, but i don't think i'm to you. :/

2009-06-25T14:46:00.004+08:00

Fearless

2 more days, so near yet so far. I'm really dammmmm nervous when i see the event list this mrng. I was complaining to aloy online, but i guess his situation is worst with 4 heats for his event HAHA! But anw, yeah i haven't had the chance to train much with the equipments & i think i'm really not prepared. I think i will just die of fatique that day, or too much anxiety and end up breaking down. But i think it's always a routine every year that i cry before my event.

2009-06-21T00:39:00.001+08:00

I've a fucked up brother who think that money comes by so easily.

2009-06-18T19:02:00.004+08:00

It doesn't matter much to you at all.

Probably in a few more weeks time you would be gone, and i don't know how things will turn out to be. Will you be gone forever or still by my side? I wished for the second cause i don't know how to let go and forget, i'm still perhaps clinging onto something that's never coming back. I've got nobody to blame for the state i'm in now, other than myself. I really don't like now, cause i don't want to be without you. :/

Skipped school and went for fins trng, tired really. This is my first time training for my event, and NUS is already next week. I don't like to lose, but i hate to admit the fact that i will. What to do when you're lousy? Life just really sucks eh. Now i've to study for prescription UT, i'm really tired and aching. RAHHHHHHH!

2009-06-15T13:25:00.007+08:00

You.

Back from tioman, totally exhausted. The 3 days there were just relaxing and fun, and many many eating, many many bonding, many many playing games, many many tanning. I think when sunday we go back for training, we'll be so not used to the sea man! The one at tioman is really damm clear, and we can see so many fishes swimming around like just beside us.

We shall go diving next time, so we can see more things. We were all like holding breath going up and down the water so that we can see more fishes and corals. And everybody there was just so addicted to the ramly burgers, lol. Maybe cause that's the only nice and affordable food they have there? Other than having EGGS every meal. Am still waiting for alvin and xiaoying to upload photos from their camera.

I'm still so in a holiday mood, and especially having outdoor leadership on a first day of class sucks. Not adding on to having Sports coaching UT after school. And first UT for sports business is out, i got a C+. Sucks eh, i'm just 2.5 marks away from a B+, so near yet so far. RAHHH!

2009-06-10T23:50:00.002+08:00

Harvesting the heart

I can't wait for tioman trip, it's just tml. But yet i dread it, cause coming back from it means the start of school. What makes things worst is on the first day of sch there is sports coaching UT. & tml i would be in school the whole day, so i'll be rushing to em's place straight with xy after her work. Think i will probably end up sleeping alll the way on the bus, or if not read presciption notes. RAH! This holiday is totally no fun at all, i don't like! ):

And today was pretty alright, it's quite little actually. But having mr kwa touching my leg every sets of IM really kills, cause it's so uper irritating i was cursing in my mind all 10sets! And he keep mumbling standing beside me and said are you going to cry, are you going to cry sooon? Seriously damm saddist leh, devil coach.

2009-06-03T23:26:00.005+08:00

Tell me the reason why i'm still in, cause i can't find any.

Being a year 3 now, 24 hours is really not enough. Everyday is so filled pack with things to do. Trainings, school, work, fyp. Now it's still the holidays, so not that bad but i don't know how i'm going to cope with things when school reopens. Sooner or later i wouldn't be able to take the stress and work load.

Monday: School and work, Tuesday: School and rug training, Wed: FYP and ws training, Thurs: School and rug training, Fri: School and ws training, Sat: Rug and Ws training, Sun: Ws training. It's school for 5 days, and training for 5 days. And the seasons for both rugby and lifesaving are coming, all one after another. June: NUS invitational, July: Rug Pol-ite, August: Lifesaving nationals, Oct: Rugby IVP. Tell me how to cope with all this, with addtional fyp meetings here and there of the day.

Apart from the whining, i had fun during glitz. Pictures will do the talking. This few days would be rushing the interviews for FYP before going off for tioman, can't wait for the trip! At least something for me to enjoyed before school reopens :D

2009-05-31T00:31:00.004+08:00

Distanced.

Perhaps i should do what i'm best in agn, distancing myself from what i don't want to face. Things just doesn't feel right, and don't seem possible. I don't want to get myself hurt even more, and i don't want the person i care to feel hurt either. My heart is an liability, totally. I miss you boy.

2009-05-26T23:53:00.004+08:00

I can't wait for tioman trip!

RAH! Tioman trips dates are confirmed, 12-14 june. What's making this trip worst is that the returning marks the start of school the next day. And what make things even worst, is the first day of school means Sports prescription UT1. That also means that i've to bring some of my notes over to tioman to revise. But i'm glad i'm not alone, cause i knw there is a handful of ppl that will need to bring notes over to study tooooo! MUAHAHAHHAHA.

This is the first time i have been so serious about UT. To the extent of reading the 6ps and slides, then writing notes on the print outs. So stress to the extent that i'm now so sleepy i'm still revising, cause i know i won't have time if i don't stay up. Fyp in the late noon, trng in the night tml. Thurs is sch, ayg dry run and rug trials out. Totally over scheduled!

2009-05-25T12:10:00.004+08:00

Let me be brave in the attempt

Last friday, was acting like an auntie during crocs sale. I've to go around looking at the floor for those rejected crocs, bcus my leg size is so small and common tht almost everything on the shelf is gone. But in the end i managed to get myself 2 pair of maryjanes in the biggest kid size, lol!

The whole of saturday was dedicated to all schools rugby nationals, and ws trng after tht. Went back home with a red lobster face, but the effort put in was worthwhile. We got 2nd, but minyi&i was rushing off for our trngs so we didn't wait for the prize presentation. Waiting for more photos to be uploaded onto faceboook! (:

2009-05-20T00:22:00.003+08:00

I don't wanna dream about all the things that never were

Life has pretty been much of a routine. It's either school, work or trainings. School just started for about 4 weeks, and i'm looking forward to the next holiday. Because it would mean a break off from the school thou not totally because of fyp, but at least more free time in between. And what i'm looking forward to most, is WS team trip in june again. This time it's tioman instead of batam. SUN SAND SEA. And we might be trying out snokerling, tell me how much fun is this compared to studying yo!

Putting school aside, life on it's own hasn't been great. I sometimes wish i was perfect and be able to be somebody everybody like. Doing things which nobody detest, and split myself into two and be at different places at different times. So perhaps that's why sometimes it's not too good to be so socialble and make so many friends.

And you, i feel wierd with everything. We talk and we laugh about anything, things seems so pretty normal. But how i wish i'm able to read your mind, it's hard for me to keep thinking about what's going in your mind each time. And i hate the sensitive feeling, it doesn't make me feel comfortable. Why not you tell me how exactly you're feeling towards everything? Because perhaps all this is just me thinking too much.

2009-05-12T00:00:00.004+08:00

Tell me where i lie within

Over the weekends it was energy draining, with activities one right after another. Friday after school, was rushing to celebrate huabin's birthday. We brought him to fish&co, surprised him with a fake "boobs" cake. Took many many pictures which are already uploaded in facebook, and cause a flooding of 251 emails from the taggings. But anw, we went to a pub at clarke quay to slack awhile before going back. Almost all were quite tired tht day, and some having to work the next, so we left at around 1. Waiting uper long for night rider, & reaching home at around 2 plus.

Then on saturday, early in the mrng at 9.30 was rugby at turf city. I only had 5hours of sleep, before having to play 2 games that day. I was literally walking around with my eyes half closed, until just before the game. Was burnt damm bad today, now my face is so red and my arms are so tanned. Love it!

Oh well, rush home again and went straight out for jiaxuan's guitar concert. We find our own cheap trills in between the concert, cause we were getting bored when we don't understand all the classical songs. We left a few mins before the concert was about to finish, and em drove us to upper thomson for some prata for dinner. We each left with a super bloated stomach because of the XL mutabak. Now the sight of mutabak really makes me feel like puking. Even ppl like zhenhao&jim who eats so much had problem walking properly after that.

Now back to school, it's still as happening and tiring. I want the 2 weeks of holiday to reach sooon! Tml will be finning at rp pool, thn rugby trng, thn movie with jin&the rest after that. Pray that wed fyp is not so early, if not i'm gna be a zombie for another day agn! Time check: 12.30. Not say very late, but for a class of prescription tml, i'm already so dead. Prescription means stress and no time to eat, sucks man!

2009-05-04T23:06:00.003+08:00

Dear prince charming.

Last weekend was a bore, no much happenings. Other than getting to shop a little over the weekends, and bought my new phone like finally! Labour day, went down to bugis after yishun trng in the mrng. It was shopping for the girls, while the guys went for pool.

Sat was slacking around at home, till evening for movie with alvin&pc. Watched friday the 13, pretty scary. Pc was covering his eyes & sliding dont knw until where during watching lo! Somebody still claim that he was not scared during my blood valentine 3D.

& sunday was slacking around at home again, till evening for run with mr kwa and others. & people who know me, knows that i hate running. The reason why i'm running is because i'm forced to run by mr kwa, and also it actually helps me lose weight la hor. & also, cause i've the company of enid, now she's like my training buddy man, right enid? :D

So today class was out of school, it was at dairy farm feeding mosquitoes instead of milking cows okay! I was late for work even after cabbing to sch, cause that stupid allan lee release us only at 4.05. Lucky lifeguarding at rp can be quite flexible cause of the flexible seniors. & for the first time work was a bore, cause rp lifesaving team was training at NUS today. So for work today, there was nobody to crap with during work & go home with after work.

2009-04-28T09:24:00.004+08:00

Pick battles big enough to matter, small enough to win.

First week of school is finally over, and that weekends was fun. Sat was meeting up with the crazy army friend&gang. Camwhoring outside cathay while waiting for jerome, watched a super boring show the international, dine at bedok's botak jones and home-d!

And sunday was fun at beach trng without emily, lol. While playing shark attack on the surfboard, it was jellyfish attack, jim&xiaoying got stung! Thou i didn't get stung, i got many bruises from falling & going onto the board for SO times, but it was fun. Teambonding yo!

Nobody would believe that studying in RP can be stressful, but yes it is. So many pre-readings to do before classes and fyp researching. I'm working so hard this year, because it's the last year to put up my gpa! And SLA this weeek, can't wait to hold the trials man!

2009-04-21T15:15:00.006+08:00

Back to school.

Okay, i'm finally back to blogging. Many things had happened during this holiday, good&bad ones. Don't feel like elaborating, things will start new as upon now.Gng back to school being a year 3 student sucks, so much work with so little time.

Worked at rp pool ytd, it was really easy money. Fat and his gf was there, talked awhile and i was left stoning agn. What to expect from lifeguarding? Lucky pradeeeeep was having his water polo trng, & while waiting for his dad to come fetch him, we talked awhile also. Now i finally have somebody who is a fellow republican in ws, my alliance! So pc,jx&hb, i'm not alone anymore! Muahahahah.

After rug physical trng today, i'll be finding boo at rp's pool. Cause i being such a good friend, brought her in to provide her with the working opportunity! So ahem, somebody shld knw what to do when payday comes ah. lol.

2009-03-04T16:43:00.006+08:00

It sucks cause all my stuffs from the hardisk are gone. My picutres, so many memories. But lucky my school work are still inside. And now i'm here trying to transfer all the remaining stuffs in my hardisk out before i can go, & i'm like already late my training. Acer sucks la! And so many things have happened to me this month, distant relationship with everyone. Seems to be so much in my own world. I should start caring less about other people, since sometimes your conerns doesn't pay off well. Oh yeah, this seems to be like a yearly routine tht's happening.

2009-02-22T23:15:00.009+08:00

Make love not war

Sundown is over, and i was on the verge of my breaking ends that day. Wore the wrong swim suit which causes bad achings on the shoulders, and difficulty in pulling. Was glad i continued and never gave up, thanks to the support from my team mates. Am quite glad we came in 4th, we shall try harder next year! & congrats to uncle t-jian's team for coming in 2nd.

Will miss the crazy girl in the centre a lot

We smiled caused PC say smile.

We dao-ed because PC say act dao.

Team Helius

Team WS1

Team PlayChineseChess

2009-02-13T13:09:00.003+08:00

Happy valentines

I've been active this week with swimming and rugby. And since holiday starts and rugby trng is in the mrng, there was quite a bit of bonding session btw the guys&girls year2 rugby team. We've been having lunch after trng tgt, & slack after trng at cwp aimlessly. lol. Waiting for the pictures to be sent from saiful.

Today i had a surprise visit from my grandma, and i do miss her quite a bit. Cause i didn't have get to spend much time with her during CNY. She brought me lunch, and i do love her food a lot. But well, she brought some of her jewelery over to keep, and she started saying that some of this are for me when i'm married. And said that i cannot sell them cause all she bought it with her hard earn money. I hate it when she starts to say when i die you must whatever whatever. I wanted to give her money to take taxi home just now cause she was carrying a lot of things, but she asked me to save my money up. i love her many. ):

For now i'm eating the delicious lunch she cooked for me, and am waiting for swimming trng later. I'm somehow quite excited and scared for sundown swimmaton. This is a time where mental trng comes into place, and where teamwork plays a important part. Go Watersapiens!
We can do it and we can prove others wrong! <3

2009-01-29T00:07:00.004+08:00

All i ever wanted comes right down to you.

Minus having cough fever & flu, cny was fun this year. First day was visiting of 6 relatives places & over at em's place. Anges&I won 30bucks plus each with the 21point & bigsmall. We both really have good luck when we combined. Left around 1 plus & bf came over to stay.

Second day was visiting of 2 relatives house & going to 2 temples to pray. Then went over to zhenhao's place for mahjong, combined with anges & lost only 40cents. Then over to em's for another mahjong session with xiaoying, both of us stayed over. And i was the big loser, lost 10bucks. But it's okay, won back the money i lost today at my mother's friend place with 21point.

Am supposed to go over to vevian's place tml for steamboat, but i think with my situation now, i've no choice but to stay at home. Perhaps i can finally go get my lazt brains and eyes to finish eclipse. It's been with me for about 2wks, & i'm only halfway there.

2009-01-25T17:11:00.002+08:00

A lonely invisible soul.

A situation which had happen before, is showing it's symptoms agn. I really don't know what to do, and the thought of it is really scaring me. I've been through so much and prepared myself for the worst, but still i cannot take it. Time would never heal the wound, and never would you know how much this meant to me.

2009-01-25T12:19:00.003+08:00

Happy 19th birthday yong su mei! Now here's the birthday post you want, better come back for trng soon before i kill you. & let's meet up soon again for lunch or chong pang shopping! (:

2009-01-22T08:25:00.005+08:00

Happy 19th birthday AUNTIE BOO!

So old already better stop whining, screaming, and most importantly stop being late anymore. We're friends for 15years, and it will still be counting. We've done so many crazy stuffs, let's continue doing and make the whole world collapse! This time, we can have jialong joining us already, lol. Seeyou on sunday during beach trng, & we can do a post celebration with you, with those dao pauk and bananas! (:

2009-01-19T18:42:00.001+08:00

Wahaha, won 60bucks from toto!

2009-01-18T22:33:00.002+08:00

Never too late to know.

What if you sincerely believe something was true, but you were dead wrong? What if you were so stubbornly sure that you were right, that wouldn't even consider the truth? Would the truth be silenced or would it try to break through?

Like what anges said, it's human nature to keep talking to someone about something you have in common. Bcus sometimes unknowingly i will do it too, just that nobody point it out. There are so many ways things could be resolve, the last i would want is quarrel because it would end up leaving both parties unhappy. But it seem to be so hard to indulge in the conversation and share the thoughts.

The 1st beach trng of the year didn't start off well for me, bcus i didn't like it. Perhaps it's the surrondings, perhaps it's the people. Maybe with the yellow bananas accompany next wk will help a little. Hopefully no more of what i see today, because it's not a pleasant sight, not a pleasant feeling.

2009-01-08T11:29:00.002+08:00

What's left when things are not right

Suddenly everything has pushed into perspective for me. Perspective that i didn't want to see because if i admitted to the truth of it, it would mean that i would have to change my ways. Could i live like that? Maybe, maybe not. It wouldn't be easy, in fact it would be downright miserable to give up my hallucinations and try to be a grown up. But i maybe do it and maybe i could. I couldn't make that decision tight now. It hurts to much, let's think about something else.

2009-01-05T14:29:00.003+08:00

Stuck in a crossroad, no left no right.

This season had really make me go crazy. It kills me with those dilemmas going on. I've always been trying very hard to make a decision, which is positive on both sides. But it seems to me now that i won't be able to do it. Why in the first place should be so stubborn and try to multi tasked? Why didn't i just give on in the first place, and i wouldn't have suffered so much?

It's the start of the holidays, and soon after 3wks, it'll mark the end of my 2nd year in RP. I'll then be moving to my final year, and it's not something that can be joke about. I don't want to ruin my future, when i can actually take control of it. So now, i'm really deciding to quit it, and spend more time on lifesaving. I've seen results, and it's a place where merit place a parts and not biasness. I've alr put myself to suffer this 2 years, tell me what's something i can hold on to? I don't see any light from continuing, bcus i'll see myself suffering even more in the future.

It sucks when people don't preach what they say. Over and over again, i try maintain a positive thinking. But tell me what's the point when, ppl alr see you as such a loser in the team? When people in the team don't even mingle and talk properly? They smile and talk nicely infront of you, and the next mintue they start firing guns and swords at you like nobody business.

Perhaps i should go back to where i belong, the water and not the land.

2008-12-31T11:00:00.001+08:00

On the last day of 2008, early in the mrng things didn't start off well. People never wake up on time, and people pangseh me last minute. Totally spoilt my mood for the rest of the celebration.

2008-12-26T18:38:00.006+08:00

To love and to be loved.

Christmas this year is fantastic! The usual party on the eve of Christmas at Em's. Saw many ex WS members, & pretty miss most of them much. Catching up with those that have never seen for ages, entertained ourselves with our cheap thrills of entertainment.

Christmas was much more exciting, cause we went over to Jim's to ton the night. Just came back from his place. People present were: Bjorn Jim Melissa Zhenhao Jiaxuan Earl Leonard Jialong Anges Alvin Xiaoying Adrian. We spend the day Eat sleep swave tv slack with the mahjong. And jialong and i had our cheap thrill of doing stunts on the board and laugh at ourselves. And Jialong xiaoying and i, had our fun of trying to break the record of word challenge when our brains are so drained dead from mahjong all day. Didn't really get the sleep much, only like i think 4hrs? Now i'm back with my stupid red nose again. Have a good laugh at all the candid photos. lol.

2008-12-23T21:06:00.003+08:00

Paper town, faked and fragile

It has been all busy. Sunday was the usual Yishun carnival, after that we had nothing to do so Anges, Jialong and I wanted to go to the Sembawang shopping centre that's gonna reopen after renovations cos we thought Daiso was open. In the end we tio scam cos its not done yet and so we wanted to go to Thomson Plaza. But on our way there on the bus, we saw those people that were running with mr kwa. & we were waving so hard but they didn't seem to notice. Since all of us have BUS CONCESSION, we made full use of it, alighted & gave each of them a surprise. So in the end we went no where, & that's our cheap thrill.

Monday went to watch Twilight like finally, it was what i expected. Definitely not as nice as the book, so much details were skipped. & i think it would be quite hard to understand the movie if you didn't read the book. Then we went to the PS bazzar Anges suggested, & bought each of our mortal's present. Bought mine share, & leonard's. Really broke this month, no money coming in somemore, damm dead.

Today was back at trng, not that bad. Had lunch with the rest of the seniors at some hawker centre, & En send me to Bf's house afterwhich. Bf was an ass today, cause he slept like a pig. Lucky i had the computer&tv to keep me accompanied.

This year christmas is much more fun, wed at em's, thus at jim's. Second week of holiday would then be gone like this. Just last week of holidays, and back to sch for 4wks. Rugby IVP would be along the way also. And i'm pretty much looking forward to CNY, angbaos! Plus, me and laopo had make our deal, a greedy deal. lol.

(Facebook is entertaining when you've nothing better to do)

2008-12-20T01:50:00.000+08:00

Emmett

You are Emmett. You are very strong and fast and you love to play video games. You like sports and generally dominate everyone else. You have a great sense of humor and no one is ever bored around you.

2008-12-19T19:25:00.000+08:00

Omg, steven lim is really a totall disgrace. Click here for the video.

2008-12-18T22:10:00.003+08:00

1. The person who tag you is?
Anges loy boon foong

2. Your relationship with him/her?
She's my 老婆.

3. Your 5 impression of him/her?
1) Duck
2) Always not enough money
3) Singing
4) Star
5) S.H.E

4. The most memorable thing he/she had done for with u?
Get bitten by dog.

5. The most memorable thing he/she said to you?
Ehh, can't rmb.

6. If he/she becomes ur lover, things he/she has to improve on?
I'm not a lesbian.

7. If she/ he become ur enemy, you will?
Slap her till her face become like an tomato.

9. What is it you want to tell her now?
I want to go k-ing, and shopping!

11. How do u think ppl ard u will feel ard you?
Crazy.

12. The character you love of urself are?
Sociable

13. On the contrary, the character u hate yourself are?
Sense of jealousy

14. The most ideal person u want to be is?
Be myself

15. For ppl that care n like u, say something to them:
hello, i love you.

16. Pass this quiz to 10 ppl that u wish to know how they feel about.
I am SO not mean muahahaha. Jialong Denise Daiyu Jin Mag Meow Thomas Xiaoqing Rachel Andy

Part (B)

RULE #1 People who have been tagged must write their answers on their blogs and replace any question that they dislike with a new question formulated by themselves.

RULE #2 Tag 5 people to do this quiz and those who are tagged cannot refuse. These people must state who they were tagged by and cannot tag the person whom they were tagged by. Continue this game by sending it to other people.

1. Do you have secrets?
Duh.

2. Would you fall in love with a boy/girl younger than you?
No.

3. How long do you intend to wait for someone you really love?
Don't know.

4. What would you do with a billion dollars?
SHOP!

5. Will you fall in love with your best friend?
My best friend is my boyfriend

6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
I'm greedy, i want both.

7. Give one reason why you love your significant other if you have one, one day.
Must there be a reason to love?

8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?
Do what i'm good at, cry.

9. What is the first thing you want to do when you’re legal?
I'm alr legal, i want to learn driving! but first, give me a job that gives me lots of cash.

10. What would you do if your significant other if you have one day cheats on you?
Cry again.

11. How would you see yourself in 10 years time?
I don't know man

12. Who are currently the most important people to you?
Family and friends.

13. How many times your heart has been broken?
ehhhhh, many times?

14. Would you rather be single and rich or married but poor?
Single and rich.

15. Love at first sight.
Yep.

16. If you’re attached but you feel as if you like someone else, what would you do?
Cry some more, shld be flooding by now.

17. Would you forgive and forget no matter how horrible a thing the someone has done?
Hmmm, it depends i think.

18. If there is a choice between lover and friends, which will you choose?
Friends, lovers don't always last forever.

19. Do you believe that there’s “True Love”?
Yep.

2008-12-14T23:45:00.003+08:00

Twilight

Just got back home from work. This whole week will be fully packed with work&trainings. Finally tml me&laopo can go out. We've been planning to go shopping like since i think 1 mth ago? But our timetable always clash or if not something would suddenly crop up, & so our shopping sprees has been postponed till now. Gna shop for clothes for CNY before sch starts and get busy, and i want a new pair of covered shoe for work!

Last friday was spend celebrating joe's birthday. 5 couples were there, and i kinda feel left out. Cause all of them were lovely dovey, lucky joe was single. LOL! Anw yeah, he was really a good host to not make me feel left out. Too bad kylie only joined us awhile for dinner, if not i would have enjoyed myself better. And too bad daiyu had work, when he joined them, 3 couples + me had left.
(PS: Happy 19th once agn botak boy! Enjoy your army life!)

Anw, gna look forward to this 3 weeks of holidays. Many activities planned. I'm glad my holidays are all fully occupied. But now, i'm glad i'm left with some time on my own. Because i'm so in love with my book of twilight, i'm gna go digest it now!
(PS: Xiaoying, faster finish the 2nd book before i finish the 1st, It's really getting exciting!)

2008-12-07T00:40:00.004+08:00

Tongue-tied.

Anxiety and pressure took control of me on friday. I always thought i'm alr used to all the shoutings & blaming on the field, but it didn't turn out the way. After what seems so long, i broke down. Hate is a strong word, but i really don't like you.

Seems like somethings are just still the same, what could i say? I need a little bit more luck, than a little bit. Cause everytime i get stuck, the words won't lift. And everytime that i try i get tongue tied, i need a little good luck to get me by. It feels like the end, don't wna be here agn. If only we could help each other off the ground, so we never fall down agn.

Everytime i think of ending it, i don't dare. Cause of all the efforts put in this years, the sacrifices made, the lessons learnt. I don't want to miss a thing.

(haha uncle your face is so funnny! can't help but to blog it.)

2008-12-03T14:11:00.002+08:00

PS, i love you

Often then not, we pushed the answers to the back of our subconscious mind because we're the truth will frighten us. When you talk to friends you censor yourself, you tell the truth, or your version of it, but you embellish, you're dishonest, but you've told your stories so often you've come to believe them. Because you're afraid one day, everything may just be gone.

You can live with someone, laugh with someone, love someone, and suddenly it's all gone. You want to reach out to them and hold them, but an invisible barrier has sprung up. That's how it is with relationships, it's part of life, and all the great love songs and poems and films.

I've realized how complicated love can be. That love can be passion, admiration and respect, but that passion comes in many forms. That passion doesn't necessarily have to be heart wrenching or gut-clinching. That passion can be comfort, safety and security. That passion can be trust, friendship, familiarity.

2008-11-30T10:21:00.002+08:00

Straight talking.

This are the photos from friday, after the match at LFS. The 4 of us went to the nebo cafe at amk hub for dinner. Food was not bad, set meal is only 15bucks for a main course + a drink + ice cream/soup of the day. There are boardgames also, but we were too cold to actually stay on & play. Next wk is finals, finally it's gna be over! :D

2008-11-27T22:45:00.000+08:00

Voice on the radio.

Went to kbox ytd with Pc, Anges, Xy & Alvin. We ended up being quite late for trng, bcus we went to the outlet at amk as the one in tpy has closed down. And jialong played a prank on us, saying that coach was very angry & we are dead. We were already just outside the pool, so all of us were so scared we gathered and nearly decided to pon. And when all of us went in nobody dare to go in first, so we pushed PC to get the first arrow. Then jialong was laughing when we came in, & say we were all looking so serious. Damm ass la, we really thought it was real & nobody dare to say anything when reached.

(Pardon for all the lousy photos, cause we were using PC's phone & nobody bother to on the light)

Anw, today will be the movie with WS friends at vivo. Free tickets from emily for sing to the dawn. Lol, too bad jialong can't join us bcus of work & Pc can't join us bcus of test the next day. Shopping next friday with laopo, can't wait. & now i'm dead trying to studying for psycho UT3, wanting to pull up the predicted module grade. Now my predicted is like 2 C+, 1E & 1B.

( And this are the overdued photos from Pc's phone during my b'dae celebration)
Everybody was taking photo with the pink thing, bcus apparently Pc was so stupid that he thought it was a hat that can we worn when actually it's filled with cotton inside. And thanks jialong&xiaoying for the elmo balloon. it's still floating in my house after 2wks.

2008-11-23T19:22:00.003+08:00

Social complications, false conversations.

This few days have been just purely work&trng. Just came back working at the airport. Quite relax, but always a sudden burst of customers coming in. Overall not bad, manged to shopped around inside. Walked only in terminal 2, next wk will probably go try terminal 3/1.

Last weekend was over at expo food fair. Lots of kiasu singaporeans seen, snatching all those cheap bargains and samples. Bloody hell got step on my foot many times. Wanted to actually go for the crocs sale, but work is 12hrs. Thought could get fiona to help me get a pair, too bad no size. Nvm, wait for the next cheap deal thn.

PP is finally over, & yay i passed. Next year might be doing some psychology related for FYP, can't wait sounds interesting. I feel like furthering studies in sports psychology, because it's so applicable and i like it.

Now watching channel 8 45th celebration show. I love the old shows&old songs, more meaningful. Can't wait for the kbox session with dear WS friends like finally after so along agn this wed. lol. Actually it's just anges.

And multi-tasking now, playing word challenge. Trying very hard to break that stupid denise's high score. Looks like we're the 2 idiots getting so hook onto it & trying to beat each other, but nvm like what she say friendly competition make is more fun! :D

2008-11-17T22:22:00.001+08:00

i love my mother many, she is my best friend.

2008-11-12T23:13:00.002+08:00

Post birthday gift, lost phone&wallet. The best belated birthday gift i would love to received would be ang baos/ a new phone. Tml am skipping school to go make my ezlink&replace my nets card. Hopefully friday with WS friends would cheer me up a little.

2008-11-10T21:42:00.001+08:00

it sucks be a year end baby.

Finally of a legal age. Had my first birthday celebration with kylie&the rest. Lunched at Fig&olive, went to downtown for movie instead of mind's. Bcus the rest was broke, & lucky sherman's there to drive us around, even thou we've to squeeze at the back. If not we would be stuck in town with nothing to do. Watched quantum of solace, nearly fall alsleep. I bet joel is so happy, he will definitely keep thinking abt ytd when his out there for his field trip. Anw thanks joe for the cake, he went thru all the trouble after booking out to buy the cake for me. & thanks kylie for the shirt from canterbury. & thanks the rest for being there! Looking forward to other trips, east coast park next! :D

Back home, another cake. But it feels nice to have your mother singing you birthday song. Too bad she's gng malaysia tonight, so i wouldn't be celebrating my 18th birthday with her. I'm kinda like missing her already, thou when she come back i'll hate her naggings. Would be having dinner with bf. & i can't wait for the celebration with WS friends on friday, mind's again. Let's go ugly ugly ugly & chicken cha cha cha!

For now, i shall be a good girl and study for UT. it sucks to have your birthday on a sch day, furthermore UT after tht. Thank you everyone for your wishes & smses & phonecalls & facebook/friendster/msn greetings!

2008-11-10T11:41:00.002+08:00

Thanks ah jin, for drawing this on msn for me. Now i'm feeling so hungry, join jin&the rest for lunch at koufu ltr. I'm now a lonely soul in sch cause denise went for india, & class is so boring without her! My birthday sucks! ):

2008-11-07T21:36:00.003+08:00

Turning dreams into realities.

Human nature really make me hate it sometimes, especially how people behave. It hurts you the most when your best friend's word is so insulting, that it feels like they don't care about your feeling. Some people just feel that they are always right and never wrong. Seriously what's the point of making mistake, not learning abt it and improve? Why don't you allow the chance for people to actually help you?

Somehow you may not know, but perhaps the life you are living is just a imagery. & when things actually go back into reality, the impact on your life would be must worst. Who knows everything is just a smoke screen, don't be too satisfied with how's life for you now. People in realities definitely learn how to face setbacks in their life, which allows them to put this vicarious experience into future encounters.

Sometimes i just hope that biasness doesn't exist in the world. It makes people wanting to control of things, and fight of jealousy. What's the use of the enjoyment of putting yourself so high up in the air? Because nothing is forever in this world, people would eventually take over you. What's worst, drag you all the way to the bottom.

I love the sport, but i do not like how the people behave. Everything is really going through in my mind, not trying to be negative. But i don't find myself having any more motivation to keep myself going on. Times and again, i've been affected and blog about it. But now, i think my heart is so dead i can't feel anything anymore. Because if pretending and bitching is what needed to top the sport, i rather i stack the rest.

2008-11-01T11:44:00.007+08:00

HAPPY 1YR BOYFRIEND!
(Thou we're actually tgt longer than that)

Anw i'll make sure we'll have a fun time ltr. Hopefully this would really end up to be a surprise, bcus everytime i plan one you'll get to find out somehow. Sorry for making you say no to work, bcus i want you to spend today with me. Seeyou, i'm gng to bath now. You better don't be late if not i'll kill you literally! lol. <3

2008-10-30T21:35:00.009+08:00

You're my sunshine.

I'm going to be 18 like finally, in a few days time. It sucks to have UT on your birthday, furthermore a module which i hate. So i guess i won't be going anywhere on my birthday. Perhaps a dinner with family. But i'm looking forward to all the belated celebrations, 1 with rugby peeps on the 8th, & 1 with WS dear friends on the 14th, . And i hope i don't received photo albums, keychains or caps or whatever for my birthday. Since i won't be using and it'll be kinda like a waste of money. So here's my wishlist(in order of importance, lol):

.1. Physio book! ( F for ut, how's that?)
2. A new backpack (my straps all like dropping off)
3. Crocs, sandals, slippers, i'm not superstitious, i'm a size6. (mine are wearing off)
4,New boots, (the sole are coming off)
5. Shoe bag
6. New wallet
7. A big bear from built-a-bear
8. Cute necklaces&braclets&earings
9. S.H.E new album ( too broke to get it)
10. Dresses
11. Somebody teach me how to bake!

Haha, i knw i'm a bit bu yao lian to expect so much from others. But then, sometimes it's quite nice to just dream of it, even thou it might not be happening. Okay, gna continue watching my tv.
And oh lastly, i would love to have some cake from
http://www.chocabloc.biz/index.html
for my birthday. It looks so delicious that i can feel me saliva dripping while typing thise post.